April 18th, 2012, 9:27 am

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130-Highschool friends

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daviddoesntgetit April 10th, 2012, 12:29 am

Maybe it’s selfish of me to expect friends to be listening to my problems all the time. But I suppose that everyone has their own definition of friendship, some people just want others around to have a good time but I guess I would want friends that I’d be willing to risk my life for.

Well, to each his own.

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RainbowRandomness April 18th, 2012, 9:49 am

What a bitch!
I don't think it's selfish to expect friends to listen to your problems, although if you are serious when you say, "all the time" I'd be worried.
When I have problems, I like to share them with my friends so they can help. Not ALL my friends, that doesn't work, but my close friend is always there when I need her.
In the case of "all the time" I guess you have to go with the flow of 'thinking about others', meaning even though you just want to rant about something, you also have to listen to their side too, even if you really don't want to.
... I'm starting to think I'm not making sense, but like I said at first, I don't think it's selfish to expect friends to listen to your problems and such. I also still think the girl and whoever else who told you to shut up were very rude and I probably would have said or done something horrible as retaliation.

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Long crappy comment

Justea (Guest) April 18th, 2012, 10:52 am

I'm surprised that you would be so open to tell personal stories to not-so-close friends. But honestly, you are a bit selfish, I mean everyone has problems but not a lot of people are open about it. Let's say that Gwen girl, what if she smokes weed because she has some family problems? Pressure problems? She doesn't dump her personal problems at you.g Maybe I'm wrong, but you get my point right? And maybe you have to talk about it at a more suitable time, I mean you're eating food and talking bout porn! That's kinda gross XD I usually keep problems to myself, but there was this one time, two of my close-ish friends I had nothing to do during a free period. We started talking, and somehow lead to our problems. It felt intimate... And the guy sitting next to us started to rub his eyes, he looked as if he'd almost cried but he just said he's 'sleepy'. I don't think he was the only one. Haha no one cares << But hey! At least you got Brad now!

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personal ranting, sorry, I just felt like sharing my opinion

stormhunter April 18th, 2012, 12:24 pm

Hello, David!
I don't think it's selfish at all. What you wrote " I would want friends that I’d be willing to risk my life for " that's exactly my idea about friendship too. I hate those people who only pretend to be friends, just so they have someone to hang out with. And I can totally relate, thanks to similiar situations I became pretty much an antisocial too. I mean I have some friends, but they live in other cities, so it's hard to keep in touch. And sometimes I feel like I'm being selfish too, for wanting them to care more about me, because I'm the type who doesn't start talking easily about my problems, but sometimes I really want to. And when I ask them if we can talk they're like oh sorry I'm tired. I ask so rarely to meet up or talk (like on phone or skype) that I think they should get the idea that there's someting wrong.. and I feel really lonely these times. And when I think about when they had problems, I have spent hours talking to them even after midnight, because I just couldn't go to sleep with the feeling that I "abandon" them. And I don't mean to be complaining. I'm glad they trust me enough to share these things with me. It's just sometimes I feel they don't care :( (which is obviously not true, but I can't help it)

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Tophatt April 18th, 2012, 1:20 pm

I don't think it's selfish, I think that most people just don't know how to react. What they should say, if they should say anything, or any of that.

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Invisible Existence April 18th, 2012, 3:17 pm

I don't think it's selfish to share stuff like that with friends, if someone says shit like "shut up I don't wana hear your problems" then they're not a friend in the slightest. To me my friends are like a surrogate family, we all know each others crap.... the bad and the good. But iv'e had the experience where someone in the friendship group told me to shut the fuck up about it. Though it backfired on him cos now everyone thinks he's a twat, it's still not nice when you think you can rely on someone and they come out with something like that. I'm really thankful for the friends I have now, I love them all so much and I would lay my life down for any of them in a heartbeat :')

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kavanomo (Guest) April 18th, 2012, 4:39 pm

I'm the friend that everybody goes to with their problems but never really talks about their own, and well I don't really mind it at all. I like listening to others. It's fun hearing about people's lives, and it's very nice to know that they're comfortable enough to talk to me.
But for vice versa...hahaha...
It's mostly because I'm a reserved person anyways.

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roxjey April 18th, 2012, 7:13 pm

i agree with everyone
its not selfish to share, its selfish to not listen and only want to hear what you want to hear

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daviddoesntgetit April 20th, 2012, 4:59 am

@RainbowRandomness: Aw, hey. Don't say that. Never feels good either to dislike people.

Oh, I didn't mean all the time literally. I'm just not very good with words. I just mean when I need to talk to someone I guess? I don't really know.

Nah, I understand. Having to be there's important. Haha, well. Getting into a fight's never fun.

@Justea: Hey, it feels like everyone else responded for me but I'll reply still, haha.

Actually, we were close friends.

Ah, well, I make no claims that I am not selfish. Haha.

I get your point but to be honest... If Gwen had a problem and she wanted to tell me, I wouldn't mind. I'd be glad to hear it, especially since it establishes that she trusts me.

And y'know. I don't think it's dumping. I would never think of her telling me her problems is dumping. Just saying that makes it seem like it's awful for her to want to tell me.

Ah, haha. I just wanted to draw the cafeteria. I didn't say it while we were eating lunch, we were hanging out on a trip together and we were just all sharing stories. That was just my story to share.

And those girls I hung out with... Once while we were eating, one of them thought it'd be funny to practice making sex noises really loudly. So I didn't think they'd have a problem with it.

Hey, it's great that you try to keep your problems to yourself, but the act of telling people isn't mere dumping, it's important to some folks. And the mere act of telling people things means a connection of trust.

That story with you and your friends is great. I understand what you're saying, like I said, you're free to want what you want out of a friendship. Just remember to let your friends come to you if they feel the need, you don't want them to feel like they can't.

I'm not saying you don't but just don't give that impression.

Sorry, I really have no right to comment on your life.

@stormhunter: Ah, sounds like something Miriam went through. She didn't go to a college near here and she ended up being ostracized from her friends in college as a result, the one friend she could count on was far away so she'd call me sometimes. Haha.

Hey, it's fine you want to talk sometimes and want to be yourself first sometimes. Learning to be selfish or selfless isn't the right way of life, it's all about finding a balance.

I'm really sorry to hear you feel lonely sometimes, though. From Miriam... I know it's rough to try to get to that point to talk about the things you want, if it's necessary to you and you have to push for it. Do it.

In any case, I hope you and your friends are doing fine now and that you're feeling better.

If you need to just say something, that's what this comic i for.

@Tophatt: I understand, I'm sometimes at a loss for word but it's amazing what you can do for people just by listening.

@Invisible Existence: Hahah. Eh, yeah. That's not a very good thing to say. But it's great to hear you have such a good group of friends!

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RainbowRandomness April 20th, 2012, 6:08 am

@daviddoesntgetit: Aw, not disliking her personaly, just not liking her actions/words.
Yeah, I suspected you probably meant that, I know what you mean~
Fights are horrible, stay clear!

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Justea (Guest) April 20th, 2012, 10:04 am

@daviddoesntgetit: Ahh, I'm sorry, I kind of always thought you disliked having friends, sorry bout that. And well, writing halfway through that comment I kinda lost my point, haha XD
And I actually don't feel that people telling others their problem is dumping, but somehow writing that comment, I thought back of how my friend told me and my other classmate that his parents were getting divorced, and my classmate told him to shut up. I should have said something..And somehow I got the impression of dumping. I don't know :/

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stormhunter April 20th, 2012, 10:49 am

@daviddoesntgetit: Fist of all thank you :) For answering, I know it takes a lot of your time to answer everyone and second for making this comic. About Miriam's case.. actually that's exactly what I'm going through! I just started college this September. Though it seems some of my friends gonna apply to my college so who knows what will be my next year like :)

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justea (Guest) April 23rd, 2012, 8:58 pm

woops i meant his brother and his wife. dont worry though, they got back together :)

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daviddoesntgetit April 24th, 2012, 10:03 pm

@Justea: I don't dislike having friends! Who does? I dislike people I dislike, haha.

I see. Well, whatever you figure out. Great to hear they got back, hope they're happy.

@stormhunter: Haha. I have to set aside time to reply but I enjoy it.

Hey, that's great to hear! I'm really happy for you. I really hope you have a fun time at college then!

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Such and Such November 18th, 2012, 8:27 pm

Selfish? Being selfish is what makes us human, but that's not the point. If that person was your friend, he wouldn't mind listening to your problems and would support you. I could kinda relate, because we all want that friend who would risk their life for us. And maybe one day there will be someone like that, somewhere.