September 19th, 2013, 3:00 am

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245-Guide to the parents

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daviddoesntgetit September 19th, 2013, 3:03 am

I wouldn't say as a kid I wanted to die or anything but I spent a lot of times wishing I was born in a different situation.

Also, I'm not sure how Vietnamese capitalization works. I assume you don't capitalize honorifics? Also, I'm not really sure how that derogatory honorific our stepmom had us use is spelled and I can't find spelling anywhere.

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Knightly September 19th, 2013, 10:03 am

Awww. David I could offer you a hug but you wouldn't like it anyway. Sorry you have to live thru this. Luckily you have a brother so you weren't all alone. Think it helped you to grown up as a better person. Maybe it is true, maybe not but I can do that at least as I can't change past.

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daviddoesntgetit September 19th, 2013, 3:20 pm

@Knightly: What? No, no. I'm fine. This is just story shit, flare! I'm not that emotionally fragile, haha.

It's pretty embarrassing having to write in kid David's voice, Miriam says it works but sometimes I just feel like I'm essentially doing baby talk.

But yes, I'm fine, I'm fine. Thanks though.

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Sir September 21st, 2013, 4:02 pm

Heh, I think you were a stronger kid
than I was. I used to hide aspirin pills in my pocket; thinking one day
I'd use 'em. I always imagined running
away but I didn't think I had anywhere
to go.

And kids just think that way. I mean,
we all did, once. And some of it isn't even words but feelings we couldn't
understand as kids, you know?

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Wolfdarling September 22nd, 2013, 9:46 pm

@daviddoesntgetit:

Tell miriam that she's doing a good job and she's going to be an awesome writer! It works well to say it from your perspective at the time as it gives it more relevance and emotion. Don't forget to tell us about what's going on in your life now as well!

btw southern Virginia is a bummer I want to go back north ;/
thats really random lol, i just remember that you are from near Richmond haha

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BurstThrough September 23rd, 2013, 12:54 am

I'm really curious about one thing, how does that woman act around other people I mean cheerful, acts stupid or what, cause I don't get her usual demeanor at all, if she looks so harmless that a bunch of people believed that a 13 year old cold beat her.
And when did you stop feeling guilty of saying that(the cussing)?

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daviddoesntgetit September 23rd, 2013, 2:37 am

@Sir: Ah, I definitely wasn't a strong kid at all. I was a lot weaker than Bernard, I'd cry all the time and gave in a lot, just no real will of my own.

I spent a lot of my childhood listening to people, obeying my stepmother, like when she makes me call our mom that, etc. If I seemed strong, that's only due to Bernard's persistence in shouldering the burden. He'd try not to cry in front of me and tell me things to comfort me.

I owe a lot to him.

Haha, I like the tale of you and the aspirin.

Yeah, I know kids just think that way but it's still a little embarrassing to write, haha.

@Wolfdarling: Miriam: THANKS! That means a lot! ;v;

Oh, yeah. I'll try to keep you guys up to date in the author's comment. I want to write about the month vacation but I have to get this thing done, haha.

Haha, you don't like south Virginia? I'm sorry. I know Blacksburg is basically a void but I really like Richmond, I'm sorry you don't, haha.

I live right in the heart of Richmond, actually! Bernard lives outside the city a bit, in the suburbs, but I used to live on Broad St. I live on Grace St. now.

Northern Virginia is fine, it's a little too safe for me, haha. It's just all chains and shit, I really do like the local restaurants here and just the art community. I do miss all the Vietnamese people but oh well.

Anyways, I hope you get used to it soon.

@BurstThrough: Hm. Describing my stepmom...

I think part of her image has to do with our dad, y'know? She was always the victim of him, I mean, he did break her arm once, he cheated on her a lot, she just seemed like a woman in a miserable situation. So I think with that in mind it was pretty easy to believe that the son would take after his dad and act like a bastard to his mom as well.

It's pretty scary to realize no one believes you. I think that's why I tend to be too trusting of people, as some would say.

She was a little crass, but she liked to have a good time, she liked to eat and, well, she could cry when she wanted to, haha. I think if you feel like the victim, as she always did, it's not that hard to have other people believe you 'cause you believe it so much, and you're not acting when you run to them and tell them this 13 year old kid beat you.

Do you ever watch Kitchen Nightmares? There's an episode of a restaurant called "Amy's Baking Company", seeing that woman reminded me of my stepmom a bit. She just kinda had the idea that the entire world was out to get her.

I don't really blame her, our dad wasn't great to her, she had to raise these kids that aren't hers and they belonged to a woman who used to be with the man she loves, and she just came over from Vietnam with a very poor background and she was over in VA all be herself while her entire family was over in CA.

She's had a pretty shitty life.

Hm.

I didn't cuss our mom's name, it was basically the same as calling her "idiot Hien" so it was just being mean needlessly.

As for when I stopped feeling guilty, well...

I still feel guilty about it, even now.

Whenever I think back on it, I keep wanting to tell our mom, but I don't know how she'd take it or what I could say about it so it still just kinda weighs on me every once in a while.

You always kinda hope you'd be the person to be the good guy, to save the day. I'm always impressed when Connor stands up to our dad for things he believes it, it just kinda reminds me how I wasn't able to do the same as a kid. It still bothers me a lot now, to be honest, haha. 'Cause our mom was just this one good thing in our lives and I couldn't even do this tiny thing to protect her.

I know I can say it was the fear but y'know. I dunno.

Hm.

I guess that's why I'm put off when readers say I'm a good guy. I try to be decent but it doesn't erase the bad things I've done, I think about them a lot.

Yeah. It still weighs on me.

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BurstThrough September 24th, 2013, 11:44 am

Well maybe as a child I'd have though the same but not now, blood doesn't carry sin the idea itself is stupid once you reflect on it(probably means they didn't)...

Hmmm I always wonder if those those that refuse to believe what we say would just never consider it above their own opinions(as in personality) or never considered much of us, but I'm not that social to know...

Hmm she just sound like a self centered and self righteous hedonist cause I can't imagine a good or redeemeble person that feel good or have no regret of making a child sad or crying in helplesness.

Hmm never heard of Kitchen Nightmares I'll search for it...

Hmm seems kinda bad being away from family you like but could she talk to them on phone(I'm not sure just asking)?
And seriously she should have just wheited wheter your father was worth it...

It sounded a bit like a cuss and I though she just said it meant stupid beacause she was lazy of giving you the actual meang like "bitch" or something cultural in Viet she'd have to explain to ya...
From now on please hear this and don't judge untill the end cause I'm using a supposition on though process.

I know it'd be kinda bad for a bit cause your mother looks kind and she'd feel disappointed that even in all your father's imposing attitude he was unable to protect his kids sounding like an ass, would darken or further darken whatever impression she had of that stepmother that if she hates someone it's her and also she'd feel bad she was unable to confort you enough and you didn't feel she could protect you either...
But the bottom line in any revealing fact about their kids is most likely if it makes them unhappy or screwed them for life, if you assure her that you're a grownup that is happy in the present she'll be relieved at that.And I don't understand how you think you should protect your mother as I stated she should protect you if it means protecting her honor you do it and inform her of the consequences but it is unfair to ask a child to be brave even more in a blindspot situation like yours.

I feel I was almost as much as of a wuss(sorry the language) maybe more as a child but I always regarded my mother as invencible and the blindspot situation would be having problems with someone my age in the family not grownups.

I won't say you're a good guy as you wouldn't like it haha.But I do think you're decent and the way to get rid of those thoughs that surface again and again annoingly like a mosquito near your ear is to say them out loud and to the person you think should hear it(I don't know if putting it on comic works just never tried haha).
We have a saying in my country that says "If advices were that good people would charge to give 'em." so you don't have to take it if you don't wanna just know that it was with the best intencions and I believe it.

So I'll also give you a script to do it.
1-Request to the person to be alone aying there's something you want to tell them,
2-Request if nececery that they don't interrupt until you're finished and you may also want to close you eyes or stare nearly defiently in their eyes(wichever works for you I do thesecond or first folowed by second).Ah and also I personaly prefer to talk this stuff standing up even if the other person is seated(even if offers for me to sit as well) I don't know if it's the height or the blood flow on the leg muscles that makes me not want give up.
3-Spill it be as quick as a person who doens't give a shit.
Ex:"So stepmom used to beat me and Bernard."
Ex2:I hate your guts.
Ex3:I'm gay.
Works for everything.
4-Now you answer questions and assure you're happy in the present(in your case).