April 17th, 2015, 11:51 pm

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373-I'm sorry too, Connor

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daviddoesntgetit April 18th, 2015, 12:00 am

Connor and I have spent a lot of time arguing over his politics for the past couple months or so. I felt like he was getting to the point where he was telling people to do what he thought was right rather than finding out what they want.

If people don't want your help, don't give it to them. It doesn't matter how philanthropic it is to you in your mind, you might be complicating their life further. Philanthropy is not defined the same universally, barely anything is, so take the time to find out how they define it instead of just doing whatever the hell you want.

Connor and I have talked before about the selfishness of charity, we talked about how people bitch that people only do charity because it makes them feel good. And guess what? It's awesome that helping out others makes us feel good, that's really amazing and all the more reason we should keep doing it.

In that same regard, take some time to recognize when you're just doing it to make yourself feel good and not considering the person's feelings.

Thinking about all our arguments has me exhausted. I'm just glad we feel comfortable talking to each other about this shit again.


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Reealt April 18th, 2015, 1:08 am

That's great that you two came to an understanding. It's hard to find that line of helping others, and helping them, well, too much.


Oly-RRR April 18th, 2015, 11:27 am

Sometimes you just say stuff I've been thinking of but couldn't find word for - like that paragraph about philanthropy and help. It's pretty cool, reading it and realising that this is what I've been thinking of. I've been on both giving and receiving ends with unwanted help so yeah, good point.


roxjey April 19th, 2015, 10:44 pm

doing charity can be so rewarding , im an eternal believer of karma and if you put some good on the universe then the universe will do you good eventually if you hold on!


Lani (Guest) April 21st, 2015, 9:27 pm

Booooooo~ SJ keeps eating up my longer responses! D: Is there a word limit to this thing?
Just letting ya know, the whole comic of you and Connor is HELLA CUTE! >w< <3 <3 <3 I know you mentioned earlier how you and your bro were arguing so I am happy for both of you! Aws! ;w; I also agree with you TOTALLY about needing to listen to other's definition of "philantrhopy/help" cause if there's one thing I know from all of my relatives, friends, and dating partners--that a lot of what the sort of help they want will not always will make sense/agree with me 100%, but how that's PERFECTLY OK. >w</
Sorta reminds me of how my high school self helped out an aunt who was in an abusive relationship by watching her kids just so she could have more time to herself (when really, all I REALLY wanted to do was beat her now-ex husband's face in...COUGHCOUGH). =w=;;; Or, how I would sometimes buy my mom her favorite brand of cigarettes after she had an especially ROUGH week at work (it not like she ever plans on quitting, especially at this far into her life!). =w=; Although I'm not big into smoking, my high school self/early 20's self still enjoyed getting her cigs (albeit illegally through 18-and-older classmates, haha >3>;;) and chatting with her on our apartment balcony. Sometimes my mom and I talked about various things, but sometimes we just watched the sunset and stars too. :)
...Man, I miss those times.
Even though things our interactions can't exactly be the same as they were before, I'm still grateful that they happened! >w< <3 Besides, making MORE good memories with her will be be even easier now since she lives now with me, so it'll all be good! >w</ YEAH!



Lani (Guest) April 21st, 2015, 9:31 pm

Anyway, thank you for your touching concern. :D Yeah, I'm stressed sometimes but like you mentioned, I'm SUPER BLESSED and LUCKY to have a roomie and brother who's willing to ride out this rough wave with me, yanno? After all, getting a fourth roomie with Alzehimers/dementia is...quite a "lifestyle change," yeah? My roomie knows that for sure, and he's still sticking around for the ride! XD;;;
And I dunno, maybe I am just being in denial, but everything turned out ok in the end. Or at least to me? I mean, we managed to avoid being homeless and yeah it sucks my brother lost money/credit score, but more money can be earned in the future, right? As for my shitty supervisor...well. =w=;;; Hopefully if he DOES fire more people, others will put two and two together to realize that the unchanging work problems lie with HIM and not the disappeared people. He's probably pissed at me cause I always got the others to talk/confirm things with one another, instead of tricking everybody into suspecting each other and their mother was cutthroat (like HIM *__*).
There are more important things to focus on now anyway, like my mom. However, I am GRATERFUL to have such good coworkers and underlings who sided with me when all of this happened... aw! ;w; <3 I may have lost my job, but I haven't lost my friends from there! >w</ <3 <3 <3 The fact that they tried to help makes me so happy, despite how it's harder for me to see some of them now that I'm no longer there. For the ones I still see occasionally, it's still nice to get news of how the others are doing! :) LOL...now that I think about it, they still don't know how different I sound when I'm not at work!!! XD XD XD If this was some anime, I'd totally be that senior supervisor who acts all professional but is a total dork/slob in real life. XD;;;; Are you the same at work, David? :) You sound professional, polite, and thoughtful in your online responses so I dunno. XD
Plus, jobs are replaceable (up to an extent). Right now it's just finding one that pays for everything and lets easily you take care of your aging mom that's tricky the tricky part...ahahaha. =w=;; Looking into this one position right now as an administrative assistant that's hopefully flexible. We'll see! >_<;;;
And I dunno, after knowing so MANY MANY MANY relatives, friends, dating partners, coworkers and their own life problems/secrets... what I'm going through right now isn't as bad in comparison??? .____. MAYBE?? Idk. I mean, I and other relatives they been through hella worse in the past (like my aunt with her abuser, or that cousin of mine who's remains in the drug business cause his disabled mom/aunt depends on the income to not be homeless). =w=; For me, I prefer the present situation over what I know others gone through or the ONE TIME in junior high when my mom, brother, and I had to sleep in motels for a while after she lost our job and our apartment on bad timing. OTL;;; Thank god it was temporary/only once (compared to other relatives) even though food wasn't such a problem cuz my school had reduced-school lunches and I was so lucky to have friends who shared their snacks with me, or let me and my brother go to their houses for dinner/sleep overs! ^w^/ <3 I felt sort of bad though cause I never got around to telling some of them about my living situation before we grew apart... but, my mom was afraid of Child Protective Services so I sort of had to lie/hide it from them. T__T;;; For the ones I did eventually tell, some were completely surprised while others had a "hunch" but didn't say anything cause they sensed I felt uncomfortable about it (like my other roomie who just moved out, did). Aw. ;w; <3
But yeah, I dunno...I DO feel stressed out everyday but I have a brother and roomie who tries to remind me to take care of myself, and friends who are also sweet to me! >A</ I am not homeless. I actually HAVE savings (!?!) and unemployment insurance. I have my mom. I also have sweet people like you David! =^w^= Thanks for reading all of this even though it's been very loooong! :D But yeah, I'll try to take care of myself even though it gets hard sometimes. =w=;/



Lani (Guest) April 21st, 2015, 10:06 pm

Came across two visual novels (one in which I'm starting to get into soon) that may be up to Miriam's and Stephanie's interests!!! :D

"No Thank You" (BL) - (http://mangagamer.org/nty/)
"Forbidden Romance: Pub Encounter" (Otome, if you don't mind Smartphone games) - (http://www.englishotomegames.net/post/97337900546/pub-encounter-dandy-shot)

I haven't played the first one yet although maybe the character designs/story might appealing?? XD The second one is otome, but has full of oyaji which may make up for it (LOL).
...If there's one good thing about being in-between job searches, is that it gives me more time for visual novels? =w=;;;; COUGHCOUGH


daviddoesntgetit April 24th, 2015, 5:39 pm

@Reealt: Yeah, it is, but I felt like Connor wasn't taking any steps to finding that line, thus the arguments.

@Oly-RRR: Haha, that's pretty neat. If only everything was easy but oh well.

@roxjey: Yeah. The point I was making though was that as rewarding as it may be, remember that help isn't always wanted.

I don't believe in karma but it's certainly a nice thought.

@lani: Haha, oh man. I'm sorry about that. That happens to me often so I always copy my long ass fucking comments/responses before I submit.

Haha, that's great that you understand that line exists. It's hard to not butt in too much sometimes but it's definitely a part of it. It's definitely hard not to intervene, especially in moments like that. Sounds like a nice moment with your mom. Aw, I'm glad you're having a good time living with her.

God, Jesus. You're so fucking positive. I'd just be stressed as hell so I'm glad you seem more than alright with your current situation, as well as making the best of it. It's awesome you have so many people supporting you, I feel that way all the time, when I'm stressed and acting like an asshole, I still have people that are willing to put up with me until I feel less shitty. Just goddamned amazing people in my life.

Wait, you're professional at work?! Haha, you're so casual here. Actually, the way I am here in my replies and the way I am at work are pretty similar. My replies are a little more casual, I think, but my workplace is pretty casual, but I try to be as magnanimous as possible 'cause I don't talk to the readers often so who knows. Best to play it safe.

I'm quite different at home and I saw more selfish things but I think the readers can see that?

Man, I hope that admin assistant job works out for you.

Yeah, I guess if you compare your life to people with really shitty lives, yours ain't so bad. Oh man, Bernard and I used to do the same thing. We'd go to our friend's house and her mom was always more than glad to feed us, eventually we had to stop 'cause our mom said she felt ashamed, like she couldn't take of her kids so they had to go begging around for food and live off of charity. So yeah, different reason why our mom stopped us, haha.

Damn, you're a true adult, haha. Haha, I'm not sweet, you always have been to me though so thanks for that. Seriously, yeah. I wish you the best.

Miriam: OH mannnnnnn. You're so cuteeeeeeeeeeee. I love you, thank you.

THAT FIRST ONE SEEMS INTERESTING BUT THAT GUY'S HAIR, I DUNNO. I REALLY HATE THAT PROTAGONIST'S HAIR but there's not a lot of english language BL games and ughhh. I guess beggars can't be choosers.


Seriously though, that protagonist though, ugh.

But Kouichi Inui, that guy is totally Stephanie's type. Ok, ok. I'm sold on the paths. But ughhhh. Why is his hair like that? Why?

No mosaic? ........ Yessssssssssssss.

You're a good person.

Hahaha. Oh my god, me and Stephanie are totally gonna play that cell phone game, we are both hyped. We play otome games and just name ourselves as dudes so it's cool.

Oh my god, seriously. I love you. *w* LET'S PLAY BL GAMES WHILE YOU'RE IN BETWEEN JOBS!


Lani (Guest) April 25th, 2015, 3:24 am

Promise I'll post a longer comment later on David, but just wanted to quickly reply that I'm UBER UBER HAPPY that Miriam and Stephanie likes my suggestions! *w*/ <3 <3 <3 Us women gotta unite when it comes to preferences like ours! Fufufufu! =>w<= <3 <3 <3 <3
Lol, I love how both of you name yourselves after males in the games! XD Very clever! ;D Wish there were more games that let you pick your gender/orientation like Choice of Games series, but oh well. -w-;
And yep, DEFINITELY GLAD there's a lack of mosaics in the game! WHY THE CENSORSHIP, JAPAN?! \;A;/ Hell, reminds me of the time one of my females friends dragged me to some a movie called Magic Mike and there was NEVER a full frontal shot despite it being a movie about MALE STRIPPERS. They even blurred out one scene! WTF, HOLLYWOOD?! =w=; The movie was alright I guess, so maybe if Miriam and Stephanie are bored one day they can watch it...? Idk. The actors they picked aren't half bad looking. Tbh though, I prefer the movie The Full Monty (also male strippers who are former blue-collar workers). -w-;
BUT ANYWAYS, I remember Miriam said about making a visual novel someday~ >w< <3 Hope she find inspiration through playing the ones I found or at least learn to avoid their mistakes (like bad haircuts, LOL).
I agree with you too about the hair cut unfortunately. Smh. OTL;;;
Bwahahaha, I'd show my brother and roomie that game except well... yanno, the NC-17 rating and DICKS AND BODY HAIR EVERYWHERE and whatnot. Oh my! -w-;;;
HIGH FIVE, STEPHANIE!!! >w</ I THINK INUI IS AWESOME LOOKING TOO! AND ALSO MAKI~ OvO <3 Just gotta play that route...let's just hope none of them turns all SURPRISE YANDERE on me! =A=;;; You'd think a woman like me with this much experience in otomes would learn to SENSE which love interests go batshit crazy on you. .______.;; The game looks lighthearted but YOU NEVER KNOW...! >w<
Have either of you two ever had that happen? T_T; Also, do you play ALL the routes or do you only pick ones that suit your bias? ;D For me, I usually try to earn all the endings (cause you'd never who's actually awesome one you know them better...! <3) and just pretend I'm in an "alternate universe" so it doesn't feel like I'm emotionally cheating on every boy. OTL;;; This is probably silly of me, lol. I wish there was a game where you could just DATE EVERYBODY and call it a day! XD
Oh yeah, I sometimes have the luck to earn all the bad endings on the first try too! Oh man. XD;;; Too bad that I don't like to really consult strategy guides or other people's comments about the routes cause I'd like to surprise myself (yep, even if means batshit crazy boyfriends)!! Oh wellllllll! >w> Thankfully most visual novel questions are pretty easy as to which one you're supposed to pick...well, MOST OF THEM. >3>;;;
Oh yeah, and if there's one thing that frustrates me about otome games is that there's a SEVERE LACK of older men! T___T Maybe it's just the fact that I played a lot of otomes and am getting older myself, but yeah... having less classic pretty boys would be a HUGE PLUS for me. >3> Sobsob. OTL Too bad most Japanese visual novels tend to either half-ass it with the older-male character e.g. shitty drawn facial hair, more typos in translation, less developed plot/art! T___T; DAMMIT GAME COMPANIES...!
Have ever of you two noticed this trend??? Or is just me? ._. BUT YEAH. VISUAL NOVELS! YAY!!!! THANK GOD TO WHOEVER INVENTED THEM!!! >w< <3 If I find anymore, I'll be sure to share them with you Miriam and Stephanie!!!! <3 <3 <3