October 23rd, 2015, 1:37 am

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daviddoesntgetit October 23rd, 2015, 1:44 am

Hey, everyone.

I’m sorry I've updated so rarely the past couple months. This baby is driving me crazy, I didn’t want to adopt a baby, remember? But I love this kid to bits.

It’s been tough. Bernard’s been coming over every day and the emotional toll has been tough on him but, overall, I’d say we’re slowly all getting better. I don’t know how Mai is doing but… we’ve all been getting along ok.

Life’s weird. I don’t know if I want to adopt, I still want to, but it looks like I’ll have to put that all on hold.

Anyways, I came by to tell you guys

I can’t keep this up anymore.

I just don’t have the time. I thought after college, I had left behind the drama filled days of my youth. It’s not so bad, since I’ve been through it, I know I can get through this again and this time I can be there for Bernard, to make up for our childhood.

I think I’m just going to end the comic forever now. I know some people cope with adulthood by drawing about parenthood but, I dunno. I guess to be respectful I’m gonna end it? Some reader asked a while back when I’d end the comic. I guess now’s the time.

And I want to thank you all for reading my comic.

I just drew it on a whim, I never really got famous but that’s the way I like it. I got to know some of you individually, you told me your dreams, your fears over your past, some of you have made me cry telling your stories or just complimenting me. I never expected this silly little diary comic to have such an impact on people.

It had a huge impact on me too.

I managed to grow a bit.

Before this comic, I would have never thought of telling our mom or anyone about what happened, but drawing this all out and seeing you guys grow as well as supporting me through the tumultuous times, made me come to terms even more with my past. I sent her a long email detailing everything that Bernard and I went through that she didn’t know.

It’s nice knowing that my past wasn’t all for naught because I could help you guys as well.

I’m not Catholic anymore, I don’t believe in everything happening for a reason, I believe we make and find the reasons for the events in our lives. We dictate what is important and what isn’t important.

I feel like that’s important for your personal growth.

You can run and try to forget about the shitty things that happened to you. Or you can get rid of that “shitty” label, label it “mysteriously important” and examine it and help others.

I love helping people more than I thought. I’m still a selfish individual, I’m not like Connor where I’m going to explore the world and help as many people as I possibly can. I want to help only those selected few I’ve cared about, I want to help them even if I could die.

I want you guys to find something important to you as well.

I know a lot of the art majors/creative people I’m around scoff at the idea of a normal, suburban life. It seems to lack glory but I goddamn love it. I goddamn love that I’ve made work I’m proud of and I goddamn love that I come home every night and try to calm this crying baby.

If there’s one thing I want you to get from this comic, a point that I constantly try to make, it’s this.

You go through life seeing only one point of view.

Yours.

Physically, emotionally, mentally, all you see is yours.

What does this mean?

You can understand this limitation and put forth extra effort to understand people. Understand that my stepmom, flawed as she was, was a fragile, tiny person with a broken heart and no stable way of expressing that.

Understand that everyone has a reason for staying alive, even if it’s impossible to see.

You can also use it as a way to understand that shows how important your life is because your life, your unique life, only you experienced. Only you saw what you saw and thought what you thought and that’s why you have to make time for yourself. Sure, you’re one of a million kids in the suburb, you had the same boring life as everyone, you had a mom and a dad, a sibling, you went to school, cried in a school play.

But that’s not it.

Everyone is everyone else, you are the only you. Only you can decide what to do next, assuredly. Even if it’s scary, even if you’re unsure.

So the fact that you only see life through yourself, that means you have to learn to be both completely selfless and completely selfish.

I was raised Catholic, but I liked Buddhism. I like the idea of balance.

I don’t believe there’s any one philosophy that fits everyone’s life. I don’t believe that anything I’ve said here is right for everyone or even anyone. It’s up to you to figure it out.

You guys made me feel like I had a purpose when you would come forth with your stories and tell me about your lives.

You guys gave me purpose.

You guys did.

And that’s pretty impressive.

All you did was read a stupid online comic written by an asexual, Vietnamese man. You’d comment occasionally, or send me an email, or never talk, but you gave me purpose.

I guess my purpose now is this baby.

I’m sorry that we have to part ways. I’m on the internet but I’d rather keep my personal life separate from this comic I made.

So now that this comic is over, the time you spent reading this you can now use to do anything you want. That’s amazing.

So thank you guys for supporting me, for talking to me, for reading, for everything.

I’m going to miss this comic a lot and I wish you the best of luck in whatever you choose to do.

PS–

One last thing.

The concept of forgiveness.

That was my most popular comic and the one that brought out the most emotions so I want to talk about it some more.

Forgiving is hard as FUCK.

Forgiving is taught by all religions but they never talk about how fucking hard it is or why it’s necessary. Mostly, it just makes it seem like the whole purpose is to let you get pushed around a lot but still feel superior.

If you ask me forgiving is the most selfish thing you can do.

When I forgave, it was the letting go of anger, not so much that I told my stepmom it was ok, which I didn’t. Because you know what?

What she did was fucking shit.

It was absolutely shitty that she beat two 5 year old around and kicked him in the stomach.

It was absolutely shitty she constantly told those kids that they were worthless, that no one loved them, that they would amount to nothing.

It was fucking shit she tore my comic books up and manipulated everyone in the family to turn against me, have them all think I was some monster child that just cried all the time for attention.

She was a shitty, shitty person.

But I had spent so much of my life hating her, plotting ways to get back at her, thinking about what I’d say to her when the moment came and

it was a huge fucking waste of my time.

My life meant more than that. It meant more than just constantly focusing on her. I had so much other things to do. I had my siblings, I wanted a family, I wanted to do art, I wanted to hang out with Brad, I wanted to stay up late and play video games or watch the stars or just about anything else.

So I forgave her.

Because she is just one person and my life was bigger than hers.

That’s not to say forgiveness isn’t also completely selfless.

I never got to live out those revenge schemes of my youth, but I got to see her point of view AFTER I forgave her. I saw what our dad did to her, to make her act the way she did.

She never got in trouble, she became a lot happier living in California. She’ll never know how much I hated her.

I moved on and did all the other things I wanted to do. She also got to live the life she wanted.

Forgiving sucks, it’s a pain in the ass, but it frees you from the emotional burden you’ve carried with you. Even if it was completely justified anger and sorrow, you’re free from that now. You can focus on enjoying yourself.

And to end, of course, I’m not saying everyone should forgive. Brad never forgave his parents, and I don’t blame him. His parents are shitheads that drove his brother to suicide and neglected him. I’ll be his emotional support for when he just wants to spend a night hating them because it’s fine.

From looking at other’s points of view, I’ve learned that all feelings are justified. I’m not saying actions, I’m not saying opinions, I’m saying feelings. You can’t help what you feel, you feel what you do and it’s cool.

Forgiving is great but it’s hard as shit and if you don’t want to go through that struggle then I’ll listen to you and help you shoulder the burden.

Best of luck with your life, do whatever you want in the most equally selfish and selfless way possible.

I’m going to miss all of you a lot and I love you a lot so take care. I’ve had an amazing four years with all of you.

[R]

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Mr.sasser October 23rd, 2015, 2:14 am

I have not commented in a while but, why not ahaha

I have enjoyed this comic since the start. I was touched that there was a comic this real. Also because your age, being a male and not gay but asexual is a group we don't get to see a lot in comics/comic diaries. It has been amazing to see your life, even though you have gone through a lot of things. Bernard too - you guys just seem a bit "unlucky", but it's good that you have eachother!

I love your attitude. Even though you are angry you often seem to find a way to turn turn
things around, or let it be in a mature way (were I think maybe this comic also has been a release of those feelings Building up?) You have always been good at answering comments and etc. which made you even more.. reliable? Or likeable ahaha something like that.

Anyway - I will thank you for posting this comic, your life, onto this webside. It is the best diary that I have read. I completely understand why you end it now. :)

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Thank You

Kitsiinabox October 23rd, 2015, 2:46 am

I don't think I've ever commented on your comics before- but I've read them from start to finish. And I just want to thank you for putting yourself out there.

You brought a lot of people solace, you made me laugh at times when I was down, and you've challenged a lot of 'standard' moral views.

Good luck with the kiddo, good luck with your family, and God Bless. I hope your future is a bright one.

Keep going and keep being you!

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Sorry for the long post

yaoi4evandnevayuri October 23rd, 2015, 4:56 am

Man, um... I'm reading this at 4:30 in the morning and I'm totally trying not to bust out crying or anything. Trying to be strong like I have been these past few years but it's really freaking hard for a crybaby like me. So I've been crying for the last 10 minutes just trying to get my mind straight enough to type this out.

This comic has been there for me for the longest of time. Seeing it end like this on short notice is one of the saddest things I've experienced in these past few weeks. Before that was an abortion I just had because right now in my life I felt as though that was the best option for me. I had too much to do and not enough financial support to get by on top of a baby and I didn't want to see that kid suffer like I did. One day I'll probably adopt and though I feel sad it's something that I had to make a decision on because I was not happy. I kept thinking about ways to hurt or get revenge on the guy who was the father. It was not good for my mental health. I decided to warn the girl he was with of all the things that he did to me and a few others while with her and it gave me a sense of relief. I'm choosing to forgive him overall so I can be able to live my life in peace but like you said, it's hard fucking work since I hate him.

Anyways, that was one. of the biggest things that have happened to me this year, and will be one of the things that shape my life for years to come. On top of my mom's death and things. Seeing your pain or your happiness with your family and friends has really helped me out of some bad situations and it got me through the day. Seeing as though some people have it just as bad as me. And I can see what's going on and hear it in my head. It gives me a peace of mind that we're all working hard to get through life together.

Dammit, I'm still crying. Anyways, I didn't want to sit here and type all of this but reading through your description it just tells me that I was right all these years in choosing to forgive my family and that guy so I can stop wanting to commit suicide time and time again. Maybe that'll change in the future, but for now I'm content with my life. I'm scared what will happen, but I know that I can get by. So can you. You've helped healed so many lives from what I can tell and this comic ending gives me the strength to do something that I've wanted to do for years. Start and actually finish a comic.

I want to be able to get to a point in my life where I feel like I have time to do SOMETHING with my drawings and I think this is a great starting point. Seeing you as inspiration all these years and seeing how you post things about your life while I have yet started my own 'life comic/diary', makes me start to wonder if I'm going about life the right way.

I know this is weird to say but through this I see you guys as my own family whom I want to see grow and I'd want to protect with my own hands somehow. That's coming from a complete stranger, but it's true. xD I love you guys with all my heart and soul and I have every belief that you guys will make it through your struggles a day at a time.

Anyways, since this is the end. Have a wonderful farewell. And I hope to see you again if not sooner then later. This journey with us may have come to an end, but hopefully even though you see us as random people, we still mean enough to you to say hi every once in awhile.

Goodbye David, I will miss you and everyone in this comic. I'm going to grow up now, find some tissue, blow my nose and draw something for this comic that I've been working on. Have a great life and a wonderful adventure!

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Giblet October 23rd, 2015, 5:31 am

I think this is the first time ive commented, but ive been reading for a long time and i have to thank you for sharing such honest and personal stories with us, its very rare to get this kind of look into someones life and even rarer to get a perspective like yours.

You've shared some rough times with us and listened when we've had our own and for that you and your family have earned as much love as a random stranger on the internet can give.

Thank you for this amazing gift David, Good luck and keep kicking life's ass!

PS: If you ever feel like venting or talking the internet will always be here, so dont ever be afraid to throw up a text post or a doodle im sure someone will always be willing to listen <3

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jovialMagician October 23rd, 2015, 6:35 am

I'm gonna cry... but I expected this. Have a good life David! We'll miss you!

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Popculturejesus October 23rd, 2015, 7:36 am

It has been a while, bud- geez, four years. I never really talked with you, oddly enough. It was just a passing comment here or there. I always meant to try and engage you so- might as well now. I don't think I ever told you how much this comic truly helped and inspired me. I struggled for a very long while with so many things- I come from a domestic violence situation, I'm aromantic, and- your comic gave me so much hope and validation. It helped so much not feel like a complete freak. And I'm tearing up a bit here, because of reasons but, I just wanted to say thank you so much for everything bud!

So! I'm going to try and keep this short, I know you'll probably have like a million comments to go through. If you ever need someone to talk to, feeling lonely, need to vent, ask for advice, whatever you need- my skype is CitrusMewTwist. Feel free to drop me a line! I hope to the bottom of my heart everything works out! Good luck- and don't worry yourself too much, okay?

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Crystaldragon October 23rd, 2015, 8:03 am

All I have to say is good bye and good luck. And thanks for this comic, as it's helped me come to terms with my own sexuality. Even though it's all over, I still want to keep it in my favourites. It's been too great reading your comics not to keep it.

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Reealt October 23rd, 2015, 9:39 am

I appreciate you telling us that you finished the comic, and I love how you talked about personal growth. I'm really sad to see this end, I'll admit, I'll miss reading about someone I can empathize with a lot in many ways- but I'm glad that you feel you're done with this comic. I wish you and your baby raising adventures the best, and I hope your family, your friends, all your loved ones get the best of life.

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SOABS October 23rd, 2015, 9:48 am

Wow, just wow. I can't believe this is it. Reading this makes me think about all the shitty stuff I've done (not as bad as what happened with your step-mother, or Brad's parent's, but still shitty that I don't even want to deal with it and block it out) and I think about how those people act like they've forgotten/forgiven but I wonder if they ever have, and it makes me really want to talk with someone, I just don't know how. I'm going to miss these comic, because it makes me want to be a better person like you, and I look forward to reading your next comic.

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Torakodragon October 23rd, 2015, 2:24 pm

Thank you.

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AMskity (Guest) October 23rd, 2015, 2:42 pm

Thank you so much for your hard work these past four years!! I'm been reading since page 140 {and even then I read the whole thing over at least 3 times}. You're awesome even to think of us, even while you have soooooo much going on. Though it pains me to have to comment, to say bye, I'm still hoping for a "I'll see you later", especially if you ever decide to actually publish you're story, orrrr if you ever want anyone to do more with you story (i.e. animation, movie.. etc (me, lol)). I wish you Completely ALLL the best, and hope you can drop a line or even another tale. Your life is an inspiration to all of us, that we can keep it going. And trust me, I make sure that most of my friends read your awesome work still.

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cstar (Guest) October 23rd, 2015, 5:27 pm

David, wow! This is one of my favorite comics ever, and I guess now is a good time to tell you since the comic is ending. How bittersweet...Your comic has been such an inspiration for me, both in my life and in my own comics.
I didn't really comment that often, I realize. I feel like a lot of the comments I made were really trivial, but I always wished I could say more, I'm just really bad at opening up. I went through a lot of struggles similar to yours, and reading your comic really helped since I don't open up to my friends, only my siblings. I don't even understand why I can't seem to tell my friends, since it's not like my problems are unique. Hopefully it's something I can work on, because not being able to tell my friends my problems makes me feel like I'm lying to them, or like I'm missing out on the chance to get closer to them.
Also the fact that you're asexual and don't care who knows it, that's very admirable. I think I might be asexual, and maybe that's what drew me to your comic in the first place, but it's so hard to know for sure. Like, I always drop out of the conversation when my friends start talking about people they find attractive, and I've never been on a date I enjoyed (not that I've been on many dates). But I still want to find someone I have a strong connection with (someone besides a sibling). So maybe that means I'm romantic asexual? But I'm not even into the idea of kissing? Who knows...
Well, I feel like I've been talking about myself too much, and it's hard for me to not delete everything I just typed, haha. Something about your comic makes people want to talk about their hardships, I guess.
I hope everything works out for you and your family, David. And Joshua! Babies are infinite potential, and it's so exciting to see them develop and take on certain interests.
Like, I just finished typing out this whole thing, but I still can't believe the comic is ending. It's a very somber feeling. I'll miss you David!
Take care!

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Wolfdarling October 23rd, 2015, 7:47 pm

I'm sad to see you go, but i hope everything works out for you, and you find the happiest path for yourself. if you stay in richmond, may be i'll see you one day, completely not recognize you and pass by, hahaha

I honestly wish i had met you so i could be a part of your life in some way (maybe thats going to far, but) this comic has always meant alot to me and even if i didnt always comment, i read and treasured every pannel. I guess my point is that i'm throwing alot of love your way, and i'll miss you.

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NumberSix October 23rd, 2015, 8:13 pm

I'll miss you, David. I've only read this comic for the last year or so, but I've enjoyed seeing your updates.

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Cureal October 23rd, 2015, 10:50 pm

It's kind of hard to think that this is the last message I'll ever write to you, haha. But just like over the years, the comic pages, even your last message makes me open my eyes to something I hadn't really thought about. Or considered. And it's almost funny how the stories of someone else's life became something I was so interested in. I hope and wish that you have a wonderful life and just like everyone else, I'm going to miss you.

Goodbye and good luck.

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ice---tea October 23rd, 2015, 11:04 pm

I always wondered too when this comic would end, and I agree this is a good time. I know you made them for yourself, but thank you for the comics David.
I've actually been reading them since your 5th one. I've been reading them since 9th grade and now im on my way to my 2nd year of college, so ive literally grown with your comic and its so reminiscent and touching to read your last words. I never commented much (prob 3 times) but I always checked almost every day to see if you posted, on good days and bad, and I wish you the best from now on. Like you said, the ending of this comic marks a new stage of life for us (well, not your exact words I mean you just said we now could spend time on something new haha, but still) and i'm excited for the rest of your life too, whatever happens I wish you the best, I wish you the happiest.

Have a nice life David ^_^ I learned alot from your words-I grew with your comic.
Goodbye and thank you.

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Yeflargetharb October 24th, 2015, 12:29 am

Hiya David, I just started reading your comic a couple months back and I wanted to let you know that even though I never said anything I really enjoyed absorbing your thought process and reading about your family and friends and that I'm really glad you're gonna do okay now. You're really cool, I think. I don't have much to say, but I'm really happy for you!

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Tristan232 October 24th, 2015, 7:43 pm

I really wish you and all the people you love all the happiness in the world. You may not think so but this comic was very beautiful and touching and just so genuine. It affected myself and my friends in such a positive way. Getting to know you and your family and friends through this comic has been an amazing feeling and you all deserve happy and great lives. Thank you for making this comic. 8)

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won (Guest) October 24th, 2015, 8:24 pm

hey david! it's been a while, huh? i didn't realize how much time had passed since this comic began. i'm looking at your old pages and they're still pretty entertaining to reread haha. your art has changed a lot since then!! i've been reading your comic since the beginning and it's been a good journey haha. sometimes i laughed, sometimes i cried, and sometimes i learned something new. i particularly like the way you tell stories-- whether they're funny or sad, i always feel like they're drawn really well to suit the mood, and your descriptions at the end can be quite thoughtful. your opinions and outlook on life are honest, impartial, and profound. i really do think i grew as a person while reading about your thoughts and experiences. i'm also vietnamese, ace/aro, and our personalities are quite similar, so i related to this comic a lot!! i recall telling my friends and family about it a bunch of times because i wanted to share it with everyone haha that's how much it meant to me. i'm going to miss it, but i'm thankful that you shared your story with us during this time. i wish you guys all the best, and good luck with the baby!! even though you're technically an uncle, i think you'd raise him well as if he was your own, because you'd make a wonderful father ;v; thanks for everything, david!!

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argon (Guest) October 24th, 2015, 9:58 pm

I haven't been reading for very long, and I've never commented.
But thank you.

[R]

Thank you

Squirrelgirl (Guest) October 25th, 2015, 8:34 am

First time commenting but I just have to say thank you for everything. I've never been one to have a way with words but I just had to let you know that you've impacted my life. You'll be greatly missed and I'll miss adorable Joshua updates! Thank you David.
Ps. As cheesy as this sounds I really think "David does get it" :p

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Switzerland (Guest) October 26th, 2015, 9:19 am

Thanks a million, David. I've been reading this comic for over two years now and enjoying every step of the way. It's been awesome watching you grow and develop.

You're an amazing person. Someday, I'd like to be someone like you.

Sorry for not talking to you more. I would have really enjoyed knowing you "personally". The beauty of this comic is that it seems like we all know you already. I feel like a distant part of your family, and that's comforting. I'd like to believe that if I met your family someday, I could just say hi and be happy about it.

Take care of yourself as well as you can.

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Juubei323 October 26th, 2015, 8:03 pm

I don't think I've commented on any comic on this entire site before. I'm just not usually one to comment anywhere really, but I did want to say thanks for sharing your life with us. I've always wanted to start my own "comic journal" but I've never had the motivation to do it. I think you've given it to me though. I'm at quite a rough spot in life right now, and I think drawing will help me de-stress a little. So thanks for giving me the motivation. I hope for the best for you, Joshua, your family, and friends.
Thanks, again.

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The Last

Loserx0rz November 18th, 2015, 11:03 pm

I've commented once or twice, but I just knew I had to comment on the end.
I hate endings. I think a lot of people do. But they always seem too soon, or bittersweet, or heartbreaking. But the end of this isn't sad, because it's your life, and I know that you're out there continuing it every day, even if I'm not seeing it.
Thank you for sharing some of the most personal parts of yourself so that I could relate to the life of a person so different from myself.
Either way, I actually think this is a great point to end your comic, simply because while lives are messy and a comic like this, a comic about your life (or any life) has no real plot--since things just happen--I think it's quite poetic to stop here. You entered a new phase, living without Connor and Miriam. A new child entered your life, which you had talked about, although not in the way that anyone expected, or even would have wanted, but that's OK. It's like a chance for you to come to terms with your own childhood and, as they say, do it better. And you made up with Brad, or at least you're working on it, which was a serious thread that everyone was waiting to see resolved.
Honestly, despite being unscripted life, it wrapped up far better and more poignantly than a lot of stories I read or television shows I watch.
Anyway, thank you again David for what you brought to Smackjeeves. I wish you the absolute best of luck, one human to another. You understand more than you give yourself credit for. ^^

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Αντίο (Goodbye)

Titi (Guest) November 27th, 2015, 2:18 am

Wow....haven't visited this comic for months and now this. I was never obsessed with it but look at me crying, it's 10 o'clock in the morning after a all-nighter. It's probably because i didn't ever believe there would be an end, or because i thought i would't care when the time came(oh the irony). So Dear David, i don't know if you will read this and i don't care, i am writing the long-ass goodbye comment you deserve this. I am that bi girl from Greece whose comments you probably don't remember. I always found your comic so excellent that even my friends wanted to see after all my yapping and trust me they aren't the comic type. Now to the important stuff. This comic, sure kept me company. Taught me that i was not the only one who has been through shit, the only one feeling alone, the only one whose family was different, broken. You might not know this but you are one of the people that helped me accept that i'm bi and that's alright (Brad you are the best) and that you are probably some of the first people i told. I related to many things, many thoughts, many situations you described. And that helped me. And so i want to help you. You are awesome and thank for everything, don't feel bad about yourself again. If you can help a girl in Greece, a stranger imagine what you can do with your beloved ones. You are going to be an excellent parent. Best wishes, i want to say much but i can't just put all of it in a comment. Honestly i'm gonna miss you guys but i understand, i just wish all happy lives and best of luck. I don't care if you read this but you still owe me hug. &#917;&#965;&#967;&#945;&#961;&#953;&#963;&#964;&#974; &#947;&#953;&#945; &#964;&#945; &#960;&#940;&#957;&#964;&#945; (Thank you for everything). Brad &#949;&#943;&#963;&#945;&#953; &#966;&#959;&#946;&#949;&#961;&#972;&#962;!

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Havent been around

roxjey November 30th, 2015, 9:49 pm

So sorry i havent been around
i proud myself in the fact that i read this comic pretty early and enjoyed every entry even the sad ones and felt a connection with you and your family
That being said
i am sad that i wont be knowing how you guys are anymore but i hope and i hope hope hope so much that you are getting better each day and that baby keeps getting amazing
sorry i havent been around to catch this update until now
but im here and David i want to say thank you for sharing your life with us, it helped me to take some decitions as well even if you dont know. so thanks!

from a small town in guatemala
i say thanks

keep doing good and imma send ya some hugs to you and the rest of your family (of course brad goes in there too)

goodbye

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Kino92 February 18th, 2016, 5:49 am

Noooo! I haven't come by in a while but I would every so often when I needed a lift. It meant a lot to have another asexual person, just living their life, to relate to. And it was always great to see your strong bonds with your family (Brad included). Thanks for making this comic, and I'll be looking forward to the day you start another one.

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Hi

Maria (Guest) March 16th, 2016, 1:17 am

Ohmygod, i completely regret not leaving a comment. I've tried writing drafts DRAFTS years ago of how visceral reading about your life was to me. You were like a cool uncle that made me feel ok about myself and made me feel less lonely by being so honest about your problems, i hold YOUR family narratives so close to my heart. And your simple joys, you make my insides cry. And really the blistering honesty of your comics is something i can never repay you -I don't even know what to say but best wishes from a 20 year old girl from the philippines; (i'm studying architecture, and seeing brad being so chill is so much comfort to me)... Whatever prayers are i'm sending them to you , i wish for you peace and i am thanking you again and again for sharing us such precious parts of yourself- thankyou, thankyou!